Ever felt not good enough?
Ever thought there’s no reason for anything?
Recently, I went through a terrible period of self-doubt. It took me a long while to reason out of its stronghold and, goodness knows, I’m still trying to tear myself from its tightening grip. Self-doubt sort of has this gyre effect – like a twisting, bottomless pit. If you begin to walk the line, teetering on the edge between safety and spiralling out of control, you really need to find some form of ‘greater’ perspective. Ironically, the awful thing about perspective is that it relies on experience. What’s even more ironic is that self-doubt comes from bad experiences or moments of complete failure in the past.
It’s important to try to take control of your situation. When you doubt yourself you relinquish responsibility to your ambition. There’s a reason why it’s called a ‘rat race’ – you’re running against everybody else and in order to survive you’ve got to bite the bullet and proclaim proudly,
“This is my best and it’s good enough for me…”
You can’t stop trying to achieve your goals after certain people or groups undervalue you. Rejection and failure are realities that everyone has to face up to at some stage and they shouldn’t be feared. Instead, they should be learned. When you’ve plummeted to rock bottom there’s only one way to go – upwards. Nothing lasts forever so it’s important to make the most of good things when they happen.
Try to ignore those bad memories, keep your old love letters and remain true to yourself. Keep fighting that urge to step into that winding gyre. Save yourself the trouble and get on with living your life the way you want to live it.
As the French novelist Marcel Proust once stated,
“We are healed from suffering only by experiencing it…”